Her name was Erna Ryan, But everyone called her sue or mom. She was an amazing woman to everyone she met. She touch the lives of everyone in one way or another. All the kids loved her. He sons friends would show up to her house just to talk to her rather then to see there friends.
About 10+ years ago her health started going down hill. It all started with diabetes. She was treated as a type 2 diabetic. After a couple years of treatment not working she was reexamined and determined that she was actually type 1 which is very rare to end up with out of child hood. Next was cervical cancer. She went through therapy and went into remission from the cancer and to my knowledge never had an issue with that since. Next on the list was congestive heart failure that was gradually getting worse. In the last months her heart was only working at 20% If she needed a major surgery they would not have been able to do it because they could not put her under because her heart could not take it. Next was amputation of all the toes on her left foot. She came through that with flying colors. The doctors told her that with out a prosthetic foot she would not be able to walk due to balance. She proved them wrong and was up and walking on that baby foot shortly after. I was so proud of her. A few months later she got a diabetic ulcer on one of her right toes which ended in 2 toes being taken from her right foot. After that she could no longer walk and was confined to a bed. :( Now after all that a normal person would have given up the fight and been gone along time ago, Be she was a fighter. The strongest person I have ever met in my life.
In the 7 years I have been in this family I have watched this woman go through hell and back and still be cheerful. After numerous hospital stays due to blood sugar levels, gall bladder problems, staff infections ECT. She endured the longest hospital stay I believe she has ever had. She was in renal failure, on dialysis 3 times a week, her blood sugar would not stay normal, her blood pressure was frighteningly low and she ended up with a sepsis infection. She was in the hospital for 2 months or so and came home and with in a week was back in the ICU fighting for her life for 4 months.
Now back in the hospital this time she was not responsive. She did not know when anyone was there and slept 90% of the time. She slept for 3 days straight in there that time. The doctor came in and told my father in law that there was not much left they could do and asked him to sign a DNR due to the fact that her heart was so weak that they could not use the paddles on her, that alone would make her fragile heart explode and kill her. My father in law signed the DNR and to our suprise she came back to us a few days later. She made them take the DNR out of her file because she felt that she wanted anything they could do to save her to be done. She was not ready to stop fighting even though she was weak and miserable. She wanted to be here for all of us.
Shortly after that they moved her to a specialty hospital where she went back and forth from being fine to being on deaths doorstep again. Most of us sat down as a family and tried to prepare ourselves for the day it all would end. After numerous talks and comforting each other we felt that we were all ready for it and prepared.
On Thanksgiving my husband called her she told him that she was ok but she didnt know how much more she could take. He told her it was ok to let go if she was ready. She said ok. That comment alone came as a shock. Anytime before she would have said Hell no, im not giving up! Steve had a feeling that something was coming soon. A few nights later I had a really strange dream. I dreamed that I took a pregnancy test that was negative and in the morning it was positive. I didnt know what to make of the dream cause it was so weird. I called my mom and told her about it and she didnt know what to think of it either. Then it dawned on me. Most of the time a dream about pregnancy actually means a death. I was on edge after that.
On November 28th at 12:00 am Steve called to talk to her. She said that she was doing fine but she had been having trouble breathing. They talked for a few moments and then she told him she was going to call him back in 20 minutes. That was the last he heard from her.
On November 28th at 3:00 am we got the phone call that mom had passed. I was woken by Steve screaming and walking back and forth through the hall way. I jumped up asking what the hell he was screaming about and when my eyes became unblurred from sleepyness I looked at his face and knew what had happend. I was heart broken. We had worked so hard to prepare ourselves and it just didnt help at all when the time actually came. We then proceded to make all the phone calls to all the family. Some of which thought we were playing a sick joke.
All the brothers headed up to the hospital to see her before she was moved. She looked as if she was just sleeping. We were told then what had happend. @ 2:00 am the nurses had came in to check her vitals, her blood pressure was dangrously low, her kidneys and liver were shutting down and she was vomiting and then her heart just stopped. They worked on her for 30 minutes before they fianlly called it. She had touched so many people that worked there that they themselves refused to let her go. Normally they will call it after 10 minutes but they worked on her for 30.
The next few days were a blur to all of us. I had to sit down and explain to my 4 year old daughter that her Omi was in heaven. She cried for a few minutes and said "I dont want omi to go to heaven yet" that was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever had to do. At the showing and funeral she took it even harder. She demanded to see her omi and when she would run up there she would instantly start crying. Again...heartbreaking....
I have spent the last 3 weeks being strong for everyone. Letting them come to me when they need to cry or someone to talk to. It has been hard because I cant say I know what there going through cause I haven't lost a parent. Also you can only say everything happens for a reason so many times. Its hard to give any answers to the questions of "why did God do this" why did she have to suffer" "what did she do to deserve to suffer and die so young". I dont have any of these answers and i dont know what to say to comfort them. All I can do is love each and every one of them.
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