There has been so much negative going on in my life lately I feel like Im sinking *quickley*. As I posted before we resently lost my mother in law which has really bothered me much more then I thought it would. I always knew I would be heartbroken when the day came but i didnt think it would feel like this for me.
I am currently trying to deal with Steves health problems. We have been struggling for 4 years trying to find out the cause of his pain and dizziness. After multiple MRI's and CT's, a spinal tap and qsart test we finally found out that he has Small fiber neuropathy which is basically wide spread inflamation of the small fibers of your nerves. There is not much that can be done for it. So far all the meds we have tried for it have not really helped. He was first put on Lyrica which just made him more dizzy and cost WAY too much money, next was cymbalta which he had a horrible reaction to and ended up missing work for 2 straight weeks and his doctor tried to tell him to keep taking it and it would get better. Screw that 2 weeks unpaid was more then enough. They have also tried antidepressants for it which didnt help. Now he is taking Gabapentin which helps more then anythings else did but still not better. After much research we found out that this neuropathy is caused my an underlying condition. We had the doc run some labs on him to figure out what it could be. Now we are stuck. He had the labs drawn at our PCP's office to be sent to his neurologist. The PCP got the labs back and called to let him know that his thyroid is all out of whack which could be causing alot of his pain and his liver enzymes are elevated which worries me because I know that could lead to non alcohol related cirrhosis which would mean he would eventually need a liver transplant :( Well The pcp said that since the neuro is the one that ordered the labs he is the one that needs to make the decision as to what steps to take next. Steve has called the neuro 4 times now and still has not gotten a call back. It is getting really frustrating because were not getting a call back from a medical professional, he is missing at least 1 day a week of work unpaid because of the pain he has and there is nothing that can be done. Were struggling.
I dont really have many friends I can talk to. I have a select few friends but they cant always be there when I need them or they dont want to idk. Some have busy lives themselves, some only talk to me when they need something or it is convenient for them....Im stuck in the house all the time. Steve and I work oppasite shifts so I am always alone with our daughter. Most of the time I feel like a single parent and it really sucks. I work full time 8-4:30 monday through friday, I come home cook, clean, bathe my child and myself, go to bed and start all over. I dont really get to go do anything because we dont have the money and I dont have the time. Dont get me wrong I love spending time with my child but sometimes I just need to get away and I cant do that.
Im also dealing with someone who says there my friend but is constantly doing things to make me feel like crap. This person is always negative about everything no matter what. She always tries to start arguements and tries to talk over you. It is so annoying. Most of the time I can just blow her off and ignor it but here lately she has been pushing more and more. I know its not like she is doing these things because she knows it bothers me because I dont let it show that it does. I just ignore it. But really in my heart sometimes it hurts and some times it pisses me the hell off. There is no point in telling her how I feel because she is the type of person that feels she is never in the wrong and if you go aginst her then your the bitch. I just dont know what to do. I guess just ignore it until I end up exploding on her ass.
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